Monday, May 12, 2014

Taking the time out to know yourself

There were also people in the hospitals who were highly successful in their carrier and earned a lot of money, name and fame. But even then, not all of them were happy in their last days. But why is it so. Why is it so that even after achieving what they think was their ultimate goal, they couldn't get the happiness that they deserve? Why is it so that all that money and stuff that they had earned couldn't satisfy them? Why? Well the most possible answer that I could figure out after reading all those books, listening to so many people and with the help of my own life experiences is that. Those people didn't
know themselves. They didn't took the time out to know themselves. What do I like? What do I want? What's my place? What's my purpose? Maybe they never asked these questions to themselves. So as a result they took the way to a wrong summit. And after all those years of hard work when they knew that they climbed the wrong mountain, they surely weren't happy. Who would be?
This is the last article of the series ' Why people are not happy in their deathbed. If you haven't seen the first four articles then I suggest you to do it. To go to the first article click here
This is just an example of how not taking the time to know ourselves can affect our lives. But surely, I haven't written this article to discourage you by telling you about the lives of those people who ultimately failed. I have written this article to tell you the benefits of taking the time out to know yourself and how to do it.
First of all. What are the benefits of knowing yourself. Well, there are a hell lot of benefits of knowing yourself. But the main ones are these:-
* You come to know about your strength and weaknesses -- When you take the time out to know yourself, guess what, you come to know yourself. You come to know about all of your strengths and your weaknesses. After that, you can choose which side of yourself do you need to enhance and which part to access during ordinary time. And guess what, when you know what your weaknesses are, half of your problems already sort out automatically.
* You stop the crime of self betrayal -- Well, self betrayal is the act of betraying yourself. And you know what is the saddest fact in this story, you might be doing it without even knowing that you're doing it. Whenever you lie to someone, do something bad and act as if nothing happened, play small with your talent or say yes to something you should be saying no to, you betray yourself. And let me inform you that self betrayal is the worst of all the crimes because it doesn't allow you be happy. The depression that most people suffer from isn't from anything else but due to act of self betrayal. But guess what. When you'll know yourself, you'll come to know about all those things which lead to self betrayal and then you'll have the choice to avoid them.
* You get to know what you truly like and what you dislike -- When you'll take the time out to know yourself, you'll have a better understanding of your likes and dislikes. You'll know what gives you true happiness and all. You'll have a better understanding of the things that you do or don't. I'll like to tell what Robin Sharma says about this. "Understanding gives clarity and clarity leads to better results." And that's what it's all about. Better Results.
* It'll keep you from climbing the wrong mountain -- As I told you earlier about people climbing the wrong mountain. Let me tell you that nothing hurts more than reaching the summit just to know that you climbed the wrong mountain. As I told you above that you'll come to know about your likes and dislikes in a better way. It won't be much harder for you now to search your ultimate goal out of the things that you like to do. And you won't ever climb the wrong mountain in your life.
I know that you are a busy person. But we only have one life. And if we can't figure out our whole life what we truly like then our walking over this planet will be worthless. So trust me. The more time that you will invest in searching yourself, the more time you'll save by not doing those unnecessary things that you don't like. I have seen a successful businessman leave his job to start a carrier as a piano artist. Surely the world may label him as a fool. But after taking his new job, his life has taken a whole new turn and now he can be said to be truly happy. So, to me, he is a real hero who chased what he truly loved in his life without caring about the world. He was in his forties when he did this. So you can do this too. Just search what you'll truly love doing and then go for it.
You can do this by keeping a journal, self reflection( thinking about your life, where it is and where you want to take it, what changes you want to bring in your life, etc) and you can even ask people about yourself and then make an average result to where you stand as a person in the world. And those who has already done it, they can tell us about their experiences or the way in which they did it( so that other people can also benefit with it) in the comment box. Stay happy as always:-)

Leading a purposeful life

This is the fourth article of the series 'Why are people not happy in their deathbed'. If you haven't seen the first three article then I suggest you to do it. To go to the first article click here  

You may ask, what is a purposeful life? Well, the answer is simple and straight. Doing something that you love and along the way, contributing your part in the betterment of the society without any selfishness and greed is a life of purpose.
Something that every person should be doing. But the sad fact is that a very few people nowadays are interested in living a purposeful life. Very few people are interested in taking out the time for knowing what they love to do. Weird, no. Irresponsible, certainly. Even fewer people are interested in contributing to the society. When people are asked for what have they given to the society. They usually reply as

  1. Why would I give anything to the society, it hasn't given me anything?
  2. What change would it bring even if I would contribute my part?
  3. The society isn't my responsibility?

Well I would like to answer them all, in my words.
1. It isn't so that the society hasn't given you anything. It may be that whatever position you hold today is because of your own own hard work but without the society, you won't be standing anywhere. Moreover, who has ever heard of a rock-star without any fans or an excellent teacher without any student. It's all the same.
2. It would be cowardly to say that your contribution doesn't hold any value. The contribution of each of us is as important as a single key in a piano without which the song wouldn't be complete. Moreover, the society consist of nothing but people like you and me. Right
3. Who has ever said that the society is your responsibility. It's the responsibility of all of us. It is not a duty imposed on you. It should be natural. Don't do it for yourself, instead, do it for yourself. You will feel happy when you will contribute for the welfare of the society. Like the old saying goes "A little fragrance remains in the hand of the person who gives the flower ". And let me remind you. Nothing the the world is more important than a mind full of happiness.
Now, the time has come for you to give your life a purpose. Even if you haven't done it for your whole life, do it today, do it now. As the old Chinese saying goes "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today." 
To read the fifth and last part of this series. Click here
And those who already have a purpose in their life please share how you found your purpose with me in the comment box below. It will be highly appreciable:-)

Giving importance to unnecessary things

Guys this is the third article of the series called 'Why people are not happy in their deathbed' if you have not read the first and second part in this series then I suggest you read them first. To go to the first article, click here. If you have already read them then go ahead and read this article.

This is a very important point which was stated by many of the volunteers who were at the last stage of their life. When people are at their deathbed they never wish that they'd be able to spend some more time in their office chair and often regret spending lesser time with their loved ones. They regret not  giving time to things which were important.
But this is all written in books, newspaper and magazines already. So, I will tell you instead how to not waste your precious time on unnecessary things You can do it in the following ways:-
* Living at the present -- This is something that most of the people are unable to do. They either live in the past or dream of the future. Not so smart, right. Keep the thing in mind that yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come. Live each day beautifully. Because each day is indeed beautiful. Babatunde Olatunji said it so beautifully when he said " Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, And today? Today is a gift, That's why we call it the present."
* Giving thoughts to things which you can change rather than things which you can't change or don't want to change -- I have often heard people talking about our Education system, political parties, leaders, religions and the list goes on. But I was never able to see any point in talking or giving thought to those things which we can't change or don't want to change. And remember that your thoughts are as important as your time. Do not waste them if you want to be successful in your life. I will give you a personal example:- In my village, I have seen a lot of young boys( not having any job) sitting everyday in the same place , making groups and discussing about the problems faced by India, criticizing every possible aspect they can in every possible way they can. They keep talking the whole day and eventually at dusk, they return to their respective homes. Now I am not saying that you are like them but each one of us play a little of this role. So, next time of you see your friends talking about these things then don't join them or if possible ask them to leave giving thoughts to things which they can't change and then, leap for some real life action.
* Concentrate and give your best in whatever you are doing --  A 10 minutes of study with concentration is better than studying the whole day without concentration. If you do whatever you are doing with your full concentration then I bet that you'll surely be amazed by the accuracy and speed with which you will be able to do that work. To increase your tendency to concentrate on a particular thing, you can try the all in one meditation. But if this doesn't suit you then you have the almighty Google. 
      For the fourth part of the series ' Why people are not happy in their deathbed', click here
Please tell me if you like my posts or not. And if not then please tell why, so that I can bring you better content in the future. Peace:-)

Being selfish or selfless

This is the second part of the series called ' why people are not happy in their deathbed' If you haven't read the first part of this 5 article series. Then I suggest you to go and check out the first post first of all.
 Click here to go to the first post. If you've already seen it, then go ahead and read this article.

          A lot of people today are supporting the fact that being selfish is good. Well, they give different reasons like 

* People wont' be able to use you if you are selfish. * Being selfish means you can spend more time doing things that you like to do. * Being selfish makes you invincible to other people's thoughts because you really don't care about what they think.

And a lot more. While I wouldn't say that being selfish is bad or selfish people are bad (we all have a reason behind doing what we do), I would surely like to say that I have observed that people who are selfless are much more happier than selfish people. And when I do some selfless acts by helping other people then I get a lot of happiness which I couldn't have otherwise achieved. So I am not looking forward to being a selfish person anytime soon.
In this post I'm going to tell you some of the benefits of being a selfless person but first of all let me give my insights on the reasons that people give for being selfish (written above).
* People won't be able to use you if you're selfish -- Okay, to say the truth. I have a friend which is a selfless person as she is always willing to help other people. But nobody till now has been able to use her for their benefit because if she don't feel like doing something then she clearly says no to it. Tony Blair knew it when he said "The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes". So, if people are using a person then it's not because he is selfless it's because he is weak. He needs to learn to say no to the things that aren't important in his life.
* Being selfish means you can spend more time doing things that you like to do -- Well this is true. If you're selfish then you sure wouldn't give other people your time which will leave you with more time to do the things that you love to do. But there's a small problem here. If don't give other people your time then after a time they will certainly start to dislike you and you will start losing your relationships here. At the end, you'll be left with plenty of time to do the stuff that you love but then you'll be too alone to share your enjoyment with anyone else.
* Being selfish makes you invincible to other people's thoughts because you really don't care about what they think -- Well I've seen and met a lot of great people in my life who live their lives in their own term. They didn't cared of what other people think of them. And when I asked them for their help, they did helped me more than I asked for. This clearly states that even this statement doesn't have any foundation.

Now I will like to share with you the benefits of being a selfless person so that you can also enjoy the beauty of life.

* Increase happiness -- This is simply clear. If you've ever helped a stranger (which I'm sure you've did) then you know the happiness that a person get by helping another person without any desire to get something in return.
* You reap what you saw -- If you do something good to other people then you can expect that will be returned to you. Maybe not in the form of a help from another people but it'll be returned to you. The same goes for the evil. If you do something evil then it'll eventually catch up with you sooner or later.
* Add a sense of purpose in your life -- When people help others, they get a sense of feeling that they're making a difference, however small. They get to feel that their taking birth on this planet is not going waste.
* Enhance your relationships -- Who doesn't want to be near a person who can and want to help you in need. Eventually if you're selfless, you'll make a lot of friends in your life.
The bottom line is this. If you're a strong person and knows how to raise you voice then I don't think there's any disadvantage of being selfless. And being selfish generally don't really help.
To read the next part click here
Please tell me about the selfless deeds you've done in your life (comments section) so that I can also be inspired by your story. Peace:-)

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Why people are not happy in their deathed



In a recent survey conducted by an organisation( whose name I can't recall ), people who were at their last stage were interviewed. It was conducted on a large scale and many people were interviewed and the results that followed were horrifying. More than 95% people weren't happy with their life. The life that they thought was perfect couldn't give them some last moment of happiness. This is weird right? Many people may think so and many may not. The truth is, this is not much a kind of wierd story.
Most of the people don't live a life of purpose. They just live their precious days straightaway. A majority of people spend many years of their life repeating the same things everyday. They just earn and feed themselves living in an illusion that everything is perfect. But till the time they realize that what they have been doing throughout their life was worthless and that the happiness they thought would last forever was a mere illusion (as real happiness comes from the inside), it's all too late. Now all that they could do is regret until their soul and body finally separates. Well, they surely didn't have a choice at the last moment. But you still have a plenty of time. So these article is for helping you understand what a life full of happiness should look like. Well here you go.
When asked what are the main reasons because of which they are unhappy with their lives, most of them gave the following reasons:-
* They had been selfish throughout their life.
* They gave importance to things which were unimportant.
* (And the most important point which was stated ny many volunteers) They didn't lead a purposeful life.
* They didn't took the time to know themselves. 
In the coming days, I will be writing down posts on these following topics to elaborate them in a much better way.
Guys, click here to read the second post of the series 'Why people aren't happy in their deathbed'
Also if you want some topic on which I can write and give my personal opinions, then please tell me in the comment box section.